Balance and Wellness

Balance and wellness. What does it all mean? How do I do it? Who has the time?

First off, I don’t think there is one correct definition or way to go about these things. A lot of people talk with an official sounding tone or with professional letters behind their name, but that doesn’t mean they have the right answers. That includes me as well. We are all just figuring it out. And it’s confusing. In that way, we are all in it together.  

I think that these things are a practice held together by an awareness. Let me get into how I view my practice, the principles it is based on, and where I train my awareness. It may be the same for you, or it may be different.  

For me it starts with a principle that I first recognized in parenting when my daughter was starting school. As with all children, my daughter came into this world with her own temperament and personality. I love her. I think everything about her is beautiful—as is the case with each unique human. We are each beautiful in our own individual ways.  

I wanted to protect my daughter’s ability to be herself as she entered the school system. At the same time, I wanted her to learn what she needed to learn so that she could function, enjoy, and perhaps be successful in the society in which she will live. This dialectic, I have come to believe, is the crux of parenting.  

With time, I realized that this was also what I wanted for myself. I wanted to protect my ability to be myself while also participating in the world around me. For me, all wellness practices stem from that balance—which can also be a struggle.

So, what types of wellness practices create more of a balance and less of a struggle between those two tasks? That, in my opinion, is not the correct question.

The better question is—where should I be training my awareness, so that I readily notice when I am in balance and when I am not? The actual wellness practices will vary widely from person to person based on personality, location, access, etc. The key is self-awareness and knowing when you need an adjustment.  

I try to be aware of the feeling of connection. I would like to feel connected to myself and/or others at any given moment in time. Times without a sense of connection feel empty. And could also be described as unwell. A wellness practice would be something that puts me back into that feeling of connection.

In striking a balance between being myself while also participating (effectively, pleasurably, positively) in the world around me, the feeling of connection allows me conscious agency in shifting my weight to one side of that balance or the other. I want to feel connection with myself during my times of solitude. I want to feel connection with others when I am with others.

So, I check in with myself. Am I feeling connection? Or am I feeling something more akin to loneliness or overwhelm? The latter two would be a signal that it is time to shift my environment, rest, or do something (a wellness practice) to bring me back into connection.