As work and school both shift to home, many women find ourselves carrying increased responsibility for homeschooling children, cooking dinner, and managing a household all while trying to maintain our paid job from a corner of the house. Many women may have increased worries about potential effects of coronavirus during pregnancy or on a newborn. Many new parents may be struggling to manage life with a new baby without any extended family or other supports. Many of us are worrying about elderly parents. 

We can do this. First, we need to get in the right headspace. Humans like to make analogies, and I’ve heard a lot of people comparing this period to an apocalypse. If you are like me, that is not a comforting or helpful analogy. Since I feel kind of like a school marm in a one room school house, I’m kind of thinking about this as a time travel story, where we have been transported to the 1800’s. We are armed with knowledge of the future, so that makes us particularly powerful and capable. Something like Outlander or Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. Some of you (who have a safe distance from the actual sleepless nights of a newborn) might find comfort in similarities to the nesting and bonding memories of early motherhood. 

Next, we need to find some balance and some boundaries. I believe that we need some combination of work, rest, and fun each week or perhaps even each day. That can be hard to do when we are in our homes, with the same people 24/7. Take some time to think through the categories. What is some fulfilling and accomplishable work that you might engage with now, how can you rest, and where can you have some fun? I would even write out some lists. Is the work you are thinking of within your paid job? Is the fulfilling work something you want to accomplish around the house—a room that you’ve been meaning to clean or a photo album you’ve been wanting to create. Or an online course you would find enriching. What are some of your restful enjoyments, of course in addition to a reasonable bedtime and good sleep? Perhaps a quiet bath? Baking? Reading a novel? Catching up on a movie? Where can you find some fun? How can you socialize safely? A board game with family members, virtual happy hour with friends, group texting funny memes… My neighborhood has taken to howling each night at 8pm as a show of support to healthcare workers. The howling is a great release and it is fantastic to see my neighbors—old and young—standing on their front porches and howling into the sky.

Do you know what is as contagious as COVID-19? Anxiety. So be careful how much of it you expose yourself to. That especially means limiting your news intake. But it can also mean limiting the amount of time you spend talking about the virus or the news in your social conversations. If you find yourself getting anxious, you could try reaching out to a friend for light conversation, taking some deep breaths, exercising, or staying occupied in work or fun.

Apart from fighting COVID-19, our human world is resting. The world is resting from the seismic stressors* we create along the Earth’s surface. The world is resting from travel, and we are giving the animals and plants an opportunity to roam free. The world is resting from economic activity. And during this time of rest, hopefully our hearts are roaming and growing, so that we are drawn to donate and share as possible. We are pulled to speak up within our governments and advocate within our communities to provide for those who are struggling. Without an eye to our purses, perhaps we are more in tune with our heart songs.

Of course, for those of you who are healthcare workers, grocery store workers, emergency response people, delivery people, and all other essential services, I know that you are not able to rest during this time. You are the night shift, filling in to carry the load for all of us. You are keeping the human race safe and protected. Our gratitude can never be enough. 

This imposed rest also brings financial stressors for many people. The work of right now might include reorganizing budgets, applying for unemployment, or looking into federal aid programs. Feel proud of doing that work. These are hard skills, and also good skills. A lot of people are doing same—tightening budgets, learning to live on less, and asking for help. Don’t let that work and worry take over your entire day. Make sure that you still protect time for rest and play.

People will often give new parents this piece of advice: Sleep when the baby sleeps. It’s a practice that can make all the difference in conserving energy and maintaining sanity. That bit of wisdom comes to me now as I am thinking about COVID-19 and shelter in place. The world is resting and perhaps we can take this time to rest as well. 

We also rest because life is a marathon, not a sprint. This is true for an individual life, the life of a peoples, and the life of a planet. We know that we will be running again. Hopefully when our human strivings restart, it will be with more compassion, more love, and more reason. But however it happens, we need the rest first. 

*Caroline Delbert. Earth is Literally Moving Less Now That We’re All on Lockdown. Popular Mechanics. April 1, 2020.